


Almost Mine

by mks57



Category: The Last Ship (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Family, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Lost Love, Surprise Baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-27 15:24:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12083853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mks57/pseuds/mks57
Summary: Over a year has passed since Tex's death, Andrea reflects on her past as she does her best to keep moving forward with her life. Obviously it's set after S3, this story is a little AU and slightly fluffy version of where Andrea Garnett got to in S4. (Garnett/Tex)





	1. Chapter 1

Andrea softly hummed the tune of Ella Fitzgerald's version of 'They can't take that away from me' as she gently rocked the baby in her arms. There was humour and heartache in the song but it seemed to soothe her baby boy. He looked up at her with large hazel eyes, content being held in her arms as he calmed down. She too felt content in this time. Smiling down at him, the red curly wisps of hair and pale skin were all hers but she could see Tex's features in his tiny face. His smile, his eyes.

"You know, I can stay with you and Jack." Kat said appearing at the doorway of the nursery. Andrea paused in her humming to Kat and shook her head.

"No, you've put your life on hold for long enough. You've worked so hard for this," Andrea told her, it was true. Kat had spent the last twelve months working through her grief, working towards earning her spot on the Nathan James as an apprentice to become Air Engineer Technician. "You'll be deployed for six months, we'll be ok. There's emails and skype." Andrea assured her.

"Ok," Kat said, she was nervous of making a good impression but also sad to be leaving. She felt like she would be missing out on her little brother and being able to help Andrea. The older woman had become her guardian when her father had been killed. It hadn't been the easiest of relationship for her and Andrea but Kat had come to care deeply for her. She was in part tired of leaving the people she loved or having them leave her.

"Your father would be really proud of you." Andrea told her.

"You think? He was Army." Kat asked with a wry smile.

"Yes, only because you'll be stationed on the Nathan James; any other ship would've been a betrayal." Andrea teased, they both smiled. The Nathan James was a second home that held many memories for both of them.

"Yeah." Kat said.

"Are you ready?" Andrea asked her.

"I am." Kat told her.

"Well, let's get Mr Grumpy Pants into the car and we'll go." Andrea told her.

Over a year ago,

"You want to retire." Mike said in disbelief and looking slightly hurt by her letter of resignation. Andrea felt like she had been hollowed out. She couldn't continue on like she was. She was a ghost of herself and frankly she just didn't care anymore. It deeply scared her. There was also the fact that in a few weeks she would be even more useless to the ship.

"Yes," Andrea said, she wanted to collapse onto the floor and just not get up. But she had a plan. One that wasn't perfect but it was the only thing that made her perk up. A way of moving forward, that she had to take.

"Are you sure?" Mike asked her.

"Could you just finish reading the form?" she asked him a little frustrated. She knew his reticence in letting her go. They needed everyone they had, then there was the fact that Tom had walked away from them all three days ago.

Mike did as she asked and she watched as he flipped through the paperwork. His eyes went wide at the information on the page.

"Oh, Ok." He said, he managed to find part of her reason for leaving. "Is there something more I should know?" Mike asked her.

"No Sir, it's all in the paperwork. The father is deceased, you don't need to worry about any impropriety in the engineering department. He wasn't Navy." Andrea said being formal as she didn't want to break down. Sardonically, her inference wasn't lost on Mike who nodded. She and Tex had kept their relationship discreet to the point barely anyone knew.

"I'm sorry, Andrea. I wish it all had turned out better." Mike said empathically, she gave a nod as unwanted tears filled her eyes. They both had experienced deep losses, for her it felt like a sick joke. She managed to find love again only to have it taken away from her. Only to be left with reminders of that loss. Reminders she would cherish for the rest of her life.

"Me too." She said in a hushed voice as her emotions were getting the better of her.

"Can I try to convince you to take shore duty?" Mike asked.

"I don't think so." Andrea told him.

"How about this, we'll put you on immediate leave for 6 months. If by that time you still want out, then I'll fast track the paperwork myself. You got the annual leave accrued and maternity leave. Use it." Mike advised her.

"Ok," she said as what he said made sense.

"Can I say 'Congratulations'?" he asked.

"Yes." she said nodding vigorously as she wanted her pregnancy to be celebrated even if she wasn't happy in that moment.

"You're going to have a great time and learn so much." Andrea told Kat, they stood on the dock with all the other families and crew members saying their farewell to their loved ones. Andrea was a little envious of the young woman before her. She used to be the one leaving, the Nathan James her home. But now she was staying, the Nathan James would leave with Kat.

"It must be weird for you to be here and not be leaving on the ship." Kat said as if reading her mind.

"A little." Andrea said a little misty eyed, as her memories went back to when Bill and Lily would see her off. Just being here brought back many memories. She saw all the familiar faces in the crowd and knew some of them would come by. But for now it was just her, Kat and Jack.

"It's a shame you can't come with me." Kat said wistfully. Andrea smiled at just the image of her trying to wrangle Jack while doing her duties. It sounded like a nightmare even though a small part of her wished it were real.

"The ship isn't equipped for Jack. But we'll be here when you come back." Andrea assured her.

"Andrea." Mike called, he smiled as he walked over to them.

"Captain." Kat said acknowledging his presence by standing to attention.

"At ease, Nolan before you sprain something." Mike quipped, Kat relaxed somewhat but there was an air of respect for his station. "I didn't know if you'd show up." He said to Andrea.

"Wouldn't miss this for the world." Andrea told him proudly.

"How's Tex 2.0 going?" Mike asked, she smiled at the nickname. Mike peeked into the pram to take a look at Jack who was asleep.

"No beard yet, but the cap was adorable. Thank you." Andrea said, Mike had gotten a baby version of Tex's cap with the American flag. It was completely identical with exception of the years of wear and tear Tex's had on it. How Mike did it, she'll never know but it was a nice touch.

"You're welcome." He replied, Mike had been an exceptional friend. He'd helped her manage her career when she couldn't, he'd helped her and Kat relocate to San Diego where the Nathan James was currently stationed out of. She owed him a lot; he'd helped them a lot especially when Andrea was in her later stage of pregnancy when she had complications that put her on bed rest.

"Am I allowed to know where you're all going?" Andrea asked him.

"Oh you know, the greatest hits." Mike said which meant 'no'. Not that she was too worried, she knew the Nathan James had better luck than most crews. "Anyway, it was good to see you and Jack. When we get back, we should have dinner." Mike told her.

"Sounds good." Andrea told him.

"Nolan, you got less than 5 before we push off." He said and with a tip of his cover, he walked away leaving them to say their goodbyes.

"He's right, you have to go." Andrea said as sailors were starting to board the ship. She wrapped her arms around Kat for a long moment before pulling back. "Take care of yourself,"

"I will." Kat said looking upset at leaving. She moved to Jack and kissed his forehead. "Don't grow up too fast little man." she told him before she went back to Andrea for another hug. "Thank you for everything." She whispered. She pulled back with tears in her eyes.

"Do me proud and give 'em hell for your father." Andrea said with a watery smile. Kat nodded and picked up her bag and headed to the ship.

Andrea smiled as she watched Kat disappear onto the ship. She would stay on the dock until the ship was out to sea before she took herself and Jack home.


	2. Chapter 2

"Just you and me, little man." Andrea told Jack as she dressed him into a fresh onesie. "What are we going to do? hmm?" she asked him.

Jack's response was to kick his legs and wave his arms, an occasional smile playing on his tiny lips. Andrea's heart bloomed with love as she looked at him.

"How about a story?" she asked him, Kat had been out at sea for a week. It felt like a month as she missed Kat's presence in their home. She wondered if this was how it felt in her first home when she left for deployment. But brushed the thought away. "Would you like that?" she asked him with a smile, she knew he wasn't going to respond but just felt like talking. She picked him up off the change table and headed downstairs to the kitchen. "I know, how about the first time I met your father?" she suggested.

* * *

_Over 3 years ago,_

_"Do you see this ring?" Andrea asked raising her left hand up to Tex, the man was a flirt. So far hadn't had any luck with Dr Scott. So he'd turned to her. She was a captive audience given her leg and the meds Rios had given her._

_The man had been stranded on Gitmo for too long given he was looking at her like she were the prettiest girl at the dance. But then, Andrea felt fairly ugly given her leg was a swollen bloody mess; she was pale, drenched in sweat and scuffed with dirt and grease._

_"It's very shiny. Your point?" Tex asked her, with clear interest. She wanted to smile even as a married woman, she had to admit she felt amused and flattered. But instead she glared at him with the stare of 'get a clue buddy, not interested'. It worked 98% of the time._

_"I'm married. Happily married." She clarified to him, her words slurred just a little which annoyed her given it made him grin._

_"Oh, so flirting meaninglessly with a man of my frail ego would be bad?" Tex asked, he lifted up his shirt to show his bandaged side. "I'm already wounded." He added, Andrea snorted a laugh as the drugs and his bad sense of humour got the better of her. He was in the 2% immune to her wedding band and glare._

_"I highly doubt your ego is frail." Andrea told him, she had to admit it felt good to smile given the crap of day they had._

_"I promise, I just want to see you smile and laugh. Friends?" he offered out his hand to her. "I promise never to touch you below the waist without permission. Tex Nolan." He added._

_"Uhuh." Andrea said drily, she took his hand; enjoying the warmth and strength of his handshake._

_"You didn't tell me your name." Tex pointed out._

_"You don't need it." Andrea assured him given she spent her life in the engine room. Plus he could read her uniform._

_"I'll just have to call you 'Red'." He told her._

* * *

"You see, I was married and very much in love with my husband Bill. But he made me laugh and smile which took my mind off the pain I was in." Andrea told Jack as she spoon fed him some pureed sweet potato.

"Gah." He told her in a serious manner.

"I know, very scandalise of him, but we were just friends. He was also interested in Dr Scott. She was a beautiful woman, the kind that caused car crashes walking down the street. But in between all of your father's chasing of her, he always found time to annoy me. Like when we escaped Gitmo, the Nathan James was damaged." Andrea said with a smile.

* * *

_"You should go above decks. It'll be cooler." Andrea told Tex, who sat with her, the medical bay was like a sauna thanks to the engine malfunction. They had sustained damage to the seawater service system intake during their escape from Gitmo. It hadn't been good but Andrea knew Chung would get the Nathan James and crew through. He was an engineering whizz._

_But in the meantime she was sweating it out below decks because she couldn't be moved to the upper decks. She couldn't understand why Tex was sitting with her when he could be on deck._

_"Why would I, when things are steamy in here?" He teased._

_"You're terrible." Andrea told him with a roll of her eyes. She did however smile at his humour. If he wasn't here, she'd be alone with her thoughts until Rios or Medical Tech came by to check up on her._

_"You know it's good to laugh. Healthy actually." Tex assured her._

_"You'll ruin my reputation." Andrea told him._

_"I am a Cad." He said before blowing out a breath at the overpowering heat in the room, "Here drink some more water." He told her, he helped her take small sips from the drink bottle before letting her rest back. Water restrictions were a drag._

_"Maybe, I want you gone because you stink." Andrea told him, a sly smile on her lips. He looked at her for a moment considering her words before he shook his head._

_"Hmm, I think you're enjoying my manly musk. Just don't enjoy too much, I'd hate to come between you and your man back home." Tex told her, Andrea snorted a laugh._

_"Rest assured there will be no issues there. You're too unkempt for me." Andrea told him._

_"I can brush my hair and tuck my shirt in like any other man." He assured her, he wriggled his eyebrows and looked somewhat excited at the idea of it working. But she knew it was just a joke._

_"How is the Pursuit of Dr Scott going?" Andrea asked changing the topic. Tex frowned thoughtfully._

_"Not well, I think, she thinks that I'm only after her cause Green gave me the speech." Tex told her._

_"What speech?" Andrea asked confused._

_"No Fraternising, though I think he didn't want me hanging around whoever his ladybug is." Tex said as he scratched his chin. "Is it you?" he asked, Andrea couldn't help but laugh at the preposterous thought._

_"Really?" she asked him incredulously._

_"You're right, he's far too pretty for you. You like 'em rugged but well brushed." Tex told her with a wink._

_"And showered." Andrea added._

* * *

"We survived that, though when your Daddy doesn't shower for a couple days he smells very gross. So I was definitely glad when the ship was fixed and he began showering again." Andrea told Jack, she scooped a bit of sweet potato from the corner of his mouth that was falling out. "You're supposed to eat the puree not drool it back out. I promise, you'll get stewed apples after this. Apples?" she asked. Jack's tiny face lit up as he loved stewed apples.

"I know, your father loved apples too." Andrea told him.

* * *

_Andrea walked into the wardroom and found Tex sitting at the table biting into an apple. His dinner sat on the table untouched._

_"The fish was good." Andrea assured him, she had to admit that Tex looked a little disappointed and somewhat quiet. She and the crew like he; were worried about the Captain and the team._

_They were anchored and waiting for Tom and the others to collect monkeys for Dr Scott to continue her research into a vaccine for the virus. The team were out of comm range, so far the flare system was working. But even so, it was worrisome given the risks of encountering an infected person was very high. It was the reason Tex, Dr Scott and Burk had returned to the ship._

_"I'm waiting for the Doc. I told her to come up for dinner." Tex said, Andrea made herself a coffee and sat down next to him at the table._

_"She keeps to herself." Andrea remarked, it wasn't new to her or the crew. Dr Scott tended to think she was above them all, her work more valuable. But Andrea tried to not be prejudice towards her, she was used to people thinking very little of the Navy and their work._

_"She thinks the crew doesn't like her for keeping the whole pandemic thing a secret." Tex said._

_"She had orders, I understand that. Also, you can't hate or like someone you don't know." Andrea said diplomatically as she took a sip of her coffee._

_"How are things upstairs?" he asked._

_"Slow, I just hope they get back in one piece. I'm all for being Captain but I'd prefer it to be in my own time. Now is not that time." Andrea told him, truthfully she preferred the engine room. It was her comfort zone, she wouldn't mind going into command but she didn't want it because Tom and Mike died._

_"Fair enough." Tex said as he seemed to understand her._

_"So are you going to stay here and wait all night for her?" Andrea asked Tex._

_"She'll show up. She's got to eat." Tex said with a smile and a shrug._

_"You're dedicated, I'll give you that." Andrea said as she rose from her chair. She needed to get back up to the bridge._

_"Well, given the only other woman attracted to me is restrained by her vows to the Navy and her husband. I just have to take what I can get." Tex told her. Andrea snorted a laugh as she knew he was talking about her._

_"Will you ever stop with the flirting?" Andrea asked him._

_"Maybe what we have here is one sided unrequited love." Tex teased her._

_"One sided is right. Definitely on your side." Andrea said with a chuckle._

_"Hey, if that changes; you let me know." He told her._

_"You'll be the first to know." Andrea assured him in a rich tone to which he gave a laugh as she left wardroom._


	3. Chapter 3

Andrea watched Jack sleep in crib, he was such a good sleeper. She loved how peaceful he looked and wished she had the same skill. She didn't sleep very well. Sure she got about 5 hours of sleep but it was fitful and filled with unfinished dreams and memories.

She hated the unfinished dreams, it always felt like she blinked and was still awake except things were perfect. The sadness when she woke up to realise it was a dream and this was the reality was gut wrenching. It wasn't that she was disappointed in her current state with Jack. She loved her baby boy, she like anyone wished for just a little more happiness and for it not to be tinged with pain or grief. One day it would be like that, she just had to work her way through the grief she carried.

* * *

_"Here, let me top you up." Tex said breaking Andrea out of her stupor. She had been leaning on the railing of the balcony with an empty cup in hand. She wanted to be alone but not in her quarters, there was something beautifully soothing and distracting about looking out to the ocean on a clear night sky._

_"There isn't supposed to be liquor on the ship." She told him, she turned to see him lean on the railing next to her. He had a flask in his hand, he shook it from side to side to emphasise its presence._

_"Yet there is, indulge me." he told her, Andrea held out her cup as she couldn't be bothered arguing protocols and regulations at the man._

_"Thank you." She said as he poured her out a nip. They clinked cup and flask before taking their respective sips of the liquor._

_"Why the long face?" He asked her, Andrea looked out at the ocean for a while contemplating whether she wanted to open up to him. The warmth of the liquor spread through her as she decided there was no harm in him knowing._

_"It's my daughter's birthday. She's 11, at least I hope she is." Andrea said, she felt the lump forming in her throat as she tried not to think about Lily and her husband being dead. A thought she pushed buried deep within her as she didn't want to think of life without them._

_"We'll get there." Tex said as he looked out to the ocean._

_"But what if it's too late?" She asked him, asking the question that burned painfully inside of her._

_"I don't know, I just hope it's not." Tex told her, "What's her name?" he asked._

_"Lily." Andrea said, she pulled the photo she carried in the chest pocket of her coveralls and passed it to him. He took the photo and smiled._

_"She looks just how imagine you at that age." Tex told her, he passed it back to her. She pocketed it away. Tex pulled out a necklace with a locket and opened it. He passed it to Andrea. "Her name is Kathleen. " He told her._

_"She's beautiful." Andrea said as she looked down at the small photo in the locket._

_"She looks just like her mother." Tex said a twinge of sadness and pride in his voice._

_"How old is she?" Andrea asked._

_"Oh I think 43?" Tex said, Andrea smacked his arm and shook her head as he smiled._

_"Your daughter." Andrea clarified._

_"14." He said with a smile that turned sad. "I haven't seen her in three years. She lives with her mother in Jackson." He added as he took the locket from her and closed it gently before pocketing it._

_"That's a long time." Andrea stated without any judgement in her tone. She knew people had their reasons just as Tex had his. She could tell it pained him to be out of his daughter's life. Hell, she spent a lot of time away from Lily due to her deployments._

_"It seemed best at the time. But hindsight makes me think otherwise, especially these days." He mused sardonically._

_"We'll just have to take it one day at a time and hope it all works out." Andrea said as there was nothing else to say. Neither of them wanted to make promises or raise expectations just because they both knew the fall would be devasting._

_"Yeah." He said nodding in agreement. "Another nip?" he asked her._

_"Sure." She said holding out her cup._

* * *

Andrea let the memory drift back into her mind as she came back to the room. She drank in the sight of Jack before she left the room. She had to get some sleep given tomorrow would be a new day and she'd need all the energy she could get for Jack.

She was halfway to her room when the phone rang. She diverted downstairs hoping the ring wouldn't wake Jack up.

"Hello?" she said as she picked up the phone. There were no sounds of Jack having woken up. So she relaxed somewhat.

"Eng." A familiar voice said on the other end. A voice she hadn't heard in over a year.

"Captain." Andrea said, memories flooding back, pain and anger but the emotions were faded. She was just past them in regards to him.

"Tom, I left the rank behind when I resigned." He said.

"Then you should call me Andrea. How are you?" she asked him, she could still remember how broken he'd been the day Tex died. It was like something had broken in him as it had in her.

"I'm doing better these days." he said, she genuinely believed him. "I'm calling because I'll be out your way two days from now. I was wondering if we could meet?" he asked her.

"Of course, it'd be good to see you." Andrea said, they'd been in each other's lives for too long to not reconnect.

"Good, great." He said.

"How did you find my number?" she asked him out of curiosity.

"I still have some friends." He told her, she could hear the smile in his voice. "Anyway, I have to go. My kids need to be fed. I'll call you when I'm closer to San Diego and we'll set something up." He told her.

"Ok, take care of yourself and the kids." Andrea told him.

"Will do, see you soon." Tom told her.

"Bye." Andrea said, Tom hung up on his end and she did so on her end before she placed the handset down. She looked around at the house, too awake to sleep now as she wondered what Tom wanted to say to her. He hadn't spoken to her or Kat after Tex's death. He didn't go to the funeral, he just vanished from their lives.

Not that Andrea had expected him to talk to her. They were friends, he didn't have to explain himself to her or apologise for what happened. Tex had died just the way he wanted, in a blaze of glory; saving a friend and country.

Tears filled her eyes as she wished they had more photos of him for the house. More pictures of him and her together, of him and Kat. More of something for Jack and Kat than just stories but they would make do.

* * *

_"Red," Tex said, Andrea looked up from her paperwork as she'd been going through her usual checklist. The ship was making port at Baltimore. They were finally home with a cure; a cure to take to their families and save them. Not just them but the world. It was why they were in Baltimore than Norfolk._

_Amy Granderson had promised them safe harbour and lab for Dr Scott to do her work. So far it was all looking up and up for them. Mike even told her that once Dr Scott was comfortable and more cure was produced they'd make Norfolk their next stop. Home, the place she wanted to be with every iota of her being; to see her husband and daughter again._

_"Tex, you know you're not allowed down here." Andrea told him, she was stating a fact. He was a trusted member of the ship but rules were rules._

_"Yet you haven't called security on me." Tex said with a teasing smile._

_"No, you're a trouble maker. I think calling you out on it would only encourage you further." She said as she finished the page she was working on and flipped it over the clipboard._

_"This thing with Granderson looks fairly put together." He commented._

_"Why do I feel like you're saying goodbye?" Andrea asked him as she stopped her work to look at him._

_"Cause I am, I've got some unfinished business on the mainland I've been neglecting." He told her, it was then she noticed the pack at the top of the stairs tucked out of the way._

_"Your daughter." She stated, glad he was going even if she was a little sad to see him go. He'd become a bit of a bright spark in her day. Not that she'd ever tell him that._

_"Yeah," he said with a closed lip smile._

_"I'll miss our time together but I do hope you find her." She said earnestly. She moved to him and opened her arms. She knew a handshake was the de rigueur but they'd survived the trials of the vaccine and a whole lot of hell that it only seemed right. He closed the space and wrapped his arms around her. She took a deep breath memorialising the moment in her mind as she was sure she wouldn't see him again. "She'll understand, even if she doesn't. She'll forgive you because you're going to find her. You're her father." She told him in a hushed voice. Tears filled her eyes as she wished him the best but needed him to not be put off by the time that had passed. She felt her heart constrict as he nodded._

_"You're also annoying loveable." She added, they both laughed and pulled out of the hug putting space between each other._

_"So you love me." Tex said cockily, the moment lightening up immeasurably as even he was overcome by the moment. His eyes looking watery and expression just a little strained._

_"I said loveable, not that I loved you." She clarified._

_"Uhuh," he said as he clearly decided his interpretation was the truth of the moment._

_"Go, you're wasting daylight; Cowboy." She told him._

_"Take care, Red." He told her._

_"I will, you go find her." Andrea said with a smile, he gave a nod and headed up the stairs._


	4. Chapter 4

Two days passed in a weird daze of lovely weather and Jack being a cranky so and so. She was sure he was cutting another tooth or another tooth as his moods tended to be a good sign of it. But today he was back to his cheerful and cheeky ways.

He'd decided he was ready to stand. She had come into his room to find him standing up in his crib. She'd taken a picture for Kat. Unsure if a 16 yr old girl cared about it, but didn't worry about too long as it was just another photo to add to the album.

He was becoming more and more active everyday as he loved crawling and wriggling around the place. She was envious of how free and careless his smile were but didn't want them to ever top. She was his little man, but with his spirit of his father. At the moment he was being a cheeky little man as he sat on the floor waving at her.

She smiled and waved back with both hands, he imitated the motion but as she tried to grab him to get him ready to meet up with Tom; Jack crawled away. Luckily she was blessed with long legs and it wasn't too much of a challenge.

"I got you." she told Jack before she blew a raspberry on his cheek. The baby boy giggled in joy that made her smile and warm up inside.

* * *

_"You're back." Andrea said in surprise as Tex walked into the wardroom early in the morning. Majority of the officers were asleep or on duty. Or like Tom, in his cabin with his family. She was envious of him. Sad that he'd lost his spouse but glad his kids and father were alive._

_"Heard you were going south. Faster to just catch a ride." He said as he made himself a coffee and sat down next to her at the table where she was finishing up her breakfast._

_"I was worried about you." She told him, the events of Baltimore were just too chilling. They had suffered many losses during the past 24 hours. It wasn't just the loss of life but the betrayal of those they were supposed to protect._

_"You were worried? About me? Awwh darling." Tex asked in his usual charm, like he was unaffected by it all. But she knew better, his eyes for once didn't dance in cheer but told the bold truth. He was worried for his daughter._

_"Don't ruin it." Andrea told him drily as she knew better than to call him out on it._

_"Do I get a hug?" Tex asked as he sat next to her._

_"No, but I'm glad you're ok and you're coming with us." Andrea told him and she meant it. She couldn't imagine what America now looked like._

_"Me too, and I hear Norfolk is the first stop." Tex said, Andrea gave a nod. She wasn't sure how she felt about going home. It wasn't that she didn't want to go. It was a fear of what she'd find there._

_He reached out and placed his hand on top of hers. Her eyes locked with his. "It'll be ok, no matter what you'll find answers." He told her._

_"I just hope they are the ones I want." Andrea replied, showing the faintest crack in her veneer. He squeezed her hand in a comforting manner and smiled kindly. It soothed her inner turmoil as he reminded her that no matter what she was not alone._

* * *

Andrea looked to Jack who was sitting up in a high chair. His baby chinos and cotton stretch dino print top were in good shape, he had a bib on given the amount drool he was producing. Definitely another tooth coming through… she thought to herself. She double checked her chambray shirt for baby emissions and found it still clean and well paired with her jeans.

She'd picked a café within walking distance of home which had outdoor seating as she wanted be outside in the fresh air. She also wanted the exercise. The only problem was that she had arrived early to get set up and calm her nerves that felt shot. She wasn't worried about what Tom would think of her. No, it was what would pass between them. A year had passed and so much had changed.

"Andrea."

She looked up to see Tom before her. It took a moment to adjust to the changes in Tom. He was still in great shape. But his hair was a little longer to the point the ends curled. He had a groomed short beard, his clothes casual and wrinkled. So unlike how she'd ever seen him before.

"Tom," she said as she rose from her chair. They briefly hugged. "You look good." She told him as they sat down.

"You too, and who's this guy?" he asked as he looked to Jack. Jack made eye contact with Tom waved with both his tiny hands at him. It made Tom smile, something that was so rare for the man.

"He's my son. His name is Jack. I named him after my father." Andrea told him, Tom looked to her in surprise. She wanted to tell him that Jack was Tex's son but held it back afraid of hurting him. She knew the question would come up and she'd answer it then but for now she just wanted to see her friend.

"I missed quite a lot." He remarked as he smoothed a hand over Jack's head smiling as he obviously enjoyed the feel of soft baby hair and Jack's easy smile at the attention. She could only think he was reminiscing about when his children were as small. She found herself doing the same thing herself.

"Yeah, but it's ok. I'll catch you up and vice versa." She told him, as the old threads of their friendship picked up and it felt like next to know time had passed between them.

* * *

_"Red, open up." Tex called through the door as he knocked again. Andrea sat on her bed, just numb and so fragile. She knew if she looked at Tex she would just break down. That meant feeling the pain, acknowledging the truth, the reality that she lived in. The life that was stolen from her, the lives she'd never get to share in._

_He knocked again, the man wouldn't stop knocking until she opened the door. So she rose from the bed and stood at the door pulling that pieces she could together. She just had to get through seeing him and then she could hide again. With that plan, she took a deep breath and exhaled before she opened the door._

_"Strawberry Oreos." Tex told her with a grin, he held up the three packets of strawberry flavoured oreos like one would with playing cards. His smile slipped as he saw her face, her arm dropped from the door as she stepped away. She couldn't keep it together with him being so happy when she was so completely shattered. She turned her back and walked away knowing she couldn't push him out of the room and lock the door. She heard him as he moved into the room and closed the door behind him. She moved to her closed wardrobe and leaned against it for support._

_"I went by my house." She told him, Tex placed the Oreos in the vanity sink and looked to her, giving her his full attention. In some small way it comforted her to see him not cracking a joke. But also gave her strength to go on. "Garage door was open. Bill's car was gone. There were" she paused as she was still processing it herself even though it was hours later. "... clothes and suitcases everywhere, so I figure maybe they left in a hurry." Tears filled her eyes. "I was hoping they fled somewhere, you know, early on." her voice became strained as she was reaching the truth of her day._

_He moved closer to her and leaned against the wardrobe next to her. He didn't touch her, he just listened which she wasn't sure helped her or made her feel worse._

_"but then I went by St. Vincent's to check the records." she paused and shook her head, "There were piles of them, just mounds of paper sitting on a gurney." her voice broke as tears burned her eyes and a lump formed in her throat. "It was so surreal, seeing their names there on that paper. I mean" she gulped for air as the tears fell down her face and she could barely get the words around the lump in her throat. "I don't know what I expected. You know, why" she took a moment to force the sob that wanted to escape. "Why I'd be special, why I'd be spared." She told him, as the words left her mouth, her ability to breathe disappeared as she covered her mouth with her hand._

_She was falling to pieces, she couldn't stop it. The pain rolled in and scrapped at the hollowness of her inside her. A sob she had fought so hard to keep in; came out. The tears streamed down her face and she lost it. She sobbed, fought for breath as everything she had kept inside her came out. Tex pulled her back into his chest and wrapped his arms around her as they sank to the ground._

_He didn't quieten her, he didn't tell her it was all going to be alright. He said nothing but his actions soothed her, his strong arms held what was left of her together. His body warm and heart steady. He held her tight, as she cried for the man she had loved and lost. He held on as she cried for the child he lost, the child she'd never see grow up, the child who's future had been stolen away from her. He held her through all her pain; letting her pour her grief out until she was nothing but a shaky, tired mess._

_They sat there for a longest time; she closed her eyes and leaned into him soaking up everything she could until exhaustion got the better of her. She didn't remember when, but he helped her off the floor and tucked her into bed. He was so careful with the things she had brought back from the house. He made sure they all had a place in the room so they wouldn't be lost in the mess._

_"Stay with me." she told him, he wore a kind smile and didn't say 'no' as she'd expected him to. He also knew there was nothing salacious in the invitation. He pulled off his boots and moved behind her on the bunk, he didn't get under the blankets. But he laid down behind her, wrapped his arm over her waist. Fresh tears fell from her eyes as she was glad he was here. She was so grateful to not be alone; she gave a shaky breath and closed her eyes letting sleep take her away._


	5. Chapter 5

"The kids were a little worried coming here. They thought I was coming back for work." Tom told Andrea over their coffees, Jack was currently playing with a stuff toy Andrea pulled off the stroller for him. It was that or the spoon. The toy was quieter when it hit the ground. They covered where Tom had been. Apparently, it was all over America. He'd admitted to trying to escape his fame but really it was his demons and regrets. But found in travelling he and his kids had learned a lot about themselves and life. To the point they were just deciding on where to settle down for good. But the time on the road with one another had helped in mending much of damage in their family bonds.

"Are you?" she asked him, Tom shook his head with a smile. Something she just marvelled at given she figured he'd lost the ability to truly smile in a carefree manner after Darien.

"No, I'm out for good." Tom told her, she could see he was at peace with that solution. "I just wanted to drop in and say hi to some friendly faces." He added with a sigh.

"Well, you missed them by a couple of weeks. The Nathan James set sail, 6 month deployment." Andrea told him.

"I heard, when I tried to surprise Mike. I'll make sure to call ahead months in advance next time. But I'll take whatever news you can give me. I've really missed you al." he told her earnestly.

"Well, I went on leave right after you left. I adopted Kat, we had a funeral for Tex. He was cremated and his ashes divided up to be scattered around the place as per his wishes. Burk swore that he and Miller accidentally inhaled some of Tex when he threw some ashes to the wind over the Atlantic ocean." She said with a chuckle even though it still pained her to talk about Tex in the past tense. Tom looked solemn as he listened but did smile at the comment about Burk. "So, he'll always be with Burk and Miller, if it's true." She added.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't there." he told her.

"I get it." She said doing her best not to cry. She shook her head and smiled as she blinked away the tears. "Kat and I did our own thing for a while until I had some complications with my pregnancy. We needed help, Mike offered to set us up here and I took him up on the offer. So we ended up here, Kat went back to school and I had Jack. She went to Military school and scored an apprenticeship on the Nathan James. She's with them now." She told him.

"How is she doing?" Tom asked, genuinely wanting to know how she was bar the information Andrea had shared. Everyone on the Nathan James cared for Kat.

"Really good, it was a tough time for all of us. But we got through it and kept moving forward." she told him.

"I wish I could have been here for you all as I should have. I just couldn't." he said, he could see he hated the weakness of his inability to be the leader he thought they needed. But they all understood, they all had time to process and know it had nothing to with them. It was that Tom had burned himself out trying to be everything and do everything asked of him.

"I know, you should know Tex is Jack's father." Andrea confessed as she felt it was just better to tell Tom now than knock him down later.

"What?" He asked confused. He looked to Jack, tears filled in Tom's eyes as he didn't know, Andrea could only assume whatever pain and guilt he harboured over Tex's death had resurfaced.

"We were discreet. I only found out when Rios did a work up on me after we returned from Takehaya's camp. I told Tex that night we all reunited up with him, Kat and Kara." Andrea told him.

"Yet he still-" Tom started but Andrea cut him off.

"Yeah, it was who he was. Even if he'd known he was going to die, he'd have still gone in. It's not your fault, it's not on you or even him. It's just the shitty part of life. People die, he could've survived that day and the next be hit by a bus. But he died saving you; though I'm sure now he wished he saved someone better looking given how much you've let yourself go." Andrea said with a watery chuckle, Jack looked at her with a sad expression and reached out for her as he felt distressed by her tears. Tom snorted a laugh as he too wiped tears from his face.

"You said I looked good." He complained.

"Yeah, you look happy but the hair. What is going on there?" she asked him as they both latched onto the lighter. She lifted Jack out of the high chair and cuddled him close to her.

* * *

_Andrea sat in the wardroom and stared into the space, she felt like someone had hollowed her out and numb for most part. She wished she could feel something other the raw grief that tried to push out of the box she'd crammed it into. She had a job on the Nathan James, she couldn't afford to screw it up. Frankly, it was all she had left to keep going._

_The crew kept their distance from her; they offered their condolences and allowed her to work in peace. Tom and Mike had offered to give her time off but she couldn't see the point in it. She wasn't the only one to lose family to the pandemic. Mike's family was still M.I.A., Tom had to leave his children and father behind. Tex's daughter Kathleen was still out there. They hadn't stayed long in Norfolk before going off on a search for the Hospital ship 'Solace'. It had a lab that Rachel could've used but it had been destroyed by a new enemy. They just couldn't catch a break._

_"You going to eat that hash brown?" Tex asked from across the table. Andrea drew her attention back to the room and looked to Tex. She wondered when he'd arrived but then she was so out of it when she wasn't on the clock. He looked at her waiting for an answer but all she could do was stare at his hair._

_"What is going on with your hair?" Andrea asked him, it looked like it hadn't seen a brush in a week. She wondered how she had missed that given it was lunchtime._

_"My hand is burnt." Tex said as he held up his bandaged hand as proof. He'd done a mad dash to throw a bomb off the side of the Solace. It had saved them all but for his efforts his hand had been burned._

_"You have a left hand." Andrea told him, he gave her a smile as she realised the connotations one could take from that line._

_"I'm a rightie. I can't get my hand wet. So I had to get Cruz to wash my hair. He was not gentle which-" Tex started but Ravit cut him off._

_"Is just how you like it?" Ravit asked him with a smile. The woman had spunk._

_"It was the sink, we were both fully clothed. I know you ladies think the guys play naked leap frog in the men's showers but there just isn't enough space for it." Tex told her with a grin._

_"Somehow I doubt that." Ravit told him, "But given we're girlfriends as you claim. I'll let you borrow my brush and some conditioner." She added as she skated a small foldable brush and a small travel bottle onto the table before him._

_"How did you know I'd need it?" Tex asked as he opened it and examined it like it was a foreign object to him. Given his current hairstyle it wasn't a stretch to believe that._

_"I heard you and Cruz in the showers. You were loud." Ravit drawled, Andrea couldn't help but laugh as the woman was as bad as Tex. Andrea pushed her plate towards him. Her silent 'yes' to his earlier question of if he could have her hash brown. She then rose from her chair and moved behind Tex. She knew the next question was coming and decided to save them all some grief._

_"Well, I know next time to pick a guy who has hair to wash mine." Tex said, he looked up at Andrea with concern. "You sure about the hash brown?" he asked._

_"Yes, and I'm going to brush this mess for you. So don't make a big thing out of it." Andrea told him, they hadn't spoken much since that time in her cabin. Sure the general small talk but nothing personal, he was giving her space and she appreciated it and his friendship as he had become a constant presence at meal time. He had a knack of carrying on a show that everyone enjoyed and allowed her to just be._

_"Be gentle with me." He deadpanned. Andrea couldn't help but smile at his words and demeanour. For the first time since losing Bill and Lily, the smile wasn't forced, it wasn't pained. It just was a happy smile and it felt good._

* * *

"So are you out of the Navy?" Tom asked her, as he placed his half finished coffee down onto the saucer.

"No, I'll be going back soon for two days a week; training cadets. Mike convinced me to stay and the Military is a lot more flexible than it used to be." Andrea added, pre pandemic it would've been impossible for her to dictate her own terms. But nowadays, she was a high commodity thanks to her experience and knowledge.

"It can't afford to not adapt." Tom remarked.

"True, so have you spoken to anyone else?" Andrea asked him, she adjusted Jack on her lap as he'd dozed off. She could put him into his stroller but she just wanted to hold him, there was something comforting about having him in her arms.

"I email Mike every now and then." Tom said.

"What about Sasha?" Andrea asked, he shook his head and she could see he was conflicted about Sasha.

"I want to but I just don't know where to start or what to say to her." Tom confessed to her, Andrea smiled as she had to admit she was glad that Tom had found love again even if there were a lot of obstacles in the way at present. She knew he'd surpass them.

"It doesn't matter, as long as you say something." Andrea told him.

* * *

_"Tex, how did you get in here?" Andrea asked as she came into her quarters to find Tex sitting on her bed. He held the small stuffed giraffe that had been one of Lily's top 5 favourites when she was a kid._

_"You forgot to lock your door." he told her, Andrea gave a nod as she wasn't surprised. She had more off days than good days of late. She was functional at her job but in her downtime, she was just useless. It was lucky for her that she only had to go to the wardroom and meals were prepared for her otherwise she was pretty sure she wouldn't eat._

_She moved and sat next to him on the bed, knowing why he was here. They were both deeply private people, they put on a front they wanted everyone see and kept the harsher truths of their characters hidden behind closed doors. Today had been the end of yet another horrible week. They'd found out their enemy were people who were immune to the virus. They had decided to remake America into their own image by decimating the virus to weed out and kill non immunes._

_With the help of Neils, the Immunes had weaponised stuff toys to give out to children to spread the virus. It was horrific to think of the consequences of that. Luckily, the toys had been destroyed and Neils captured. But the asshole who had originally weaponised the virus was now in their custody. The man who started the pandemic that had killed her family was on the ship. She didn't know how to process that, she wanted to kill him but she couldn't see the point. She couldn't see how his death would make her feel better when really she wanted him to suffer. She wanted him to slowly wither away in agony like her family had. But the asshole was immune to the virus._

_"You know Michener tried to take an early exit." He stated._

_"Yes, the sleeve cuffs of his shirt don't hide it very well. We have a President who was a puppet for the Immunes." Andrea said, she hated it. She hated that they had to pretend that Michener was their President when the man wasn't elected and clearly didn't want the job. A man who clearly wasn't even in the right mind to be a President but Tom pushed it. When Tom made an order they followed it._

_"I'm so tired of all this." Tex told her, he ran a hand over his face and beard. She couldn't help but agree with them. They were just in a never ending cycle of pain and misery. Just when they got close to something good, it was taken away. Andrea turned and looked at him, she knew it was wrong but she just wanted a break. She wanted to just feel good about herself, to feel good even if it was just for a few moments._

_She reached out cupped Tex's face and turned his head her way. He didn't ask what she was doing, nor push her away even though it was clear what she was about to do. She covered his lips with hers._

_It was soft and questioning kiss, but as Andrea felt the soft movement of his lips beneath hers, she softened in relief. Tex's hands came over her arms as they kissed. She moved and straddled him, as she needed better access to him._

_She could've sworn Tex growled in triumph. He tightened his hold and teased her mouth with his as he took over the kiss; seducing her with soft nibbles and the tender graze of his tongue along the seam of her lips. In response she curled her fingers into his shoulders and leaned forward for more, parting her lips more._

_God, it felt like a lifetime had passed since she'd been kissed. Tex touched the tip of her tongue with his then withdrew to lick at her lower lip, and she answered by leaning into the kiss and searching out his tongue._

_God, he tasted good, like coffee and whiskey on a cold night. But before she even had to chance to be completely consumed Tex pulled back from the kiss and pressed his forehead to hers._

_"Are you sure?" Tex asked her, he sounded as breathless as she was. She could feel his heart racing as fast as her own, his eyes gazing at her hazy with desire but held in close check as he was searching for something in her. She cupped his face with both of her hands._

_"Yes, I just want to feel good, I want to laugh and smile. You do that for me. So can we not dissect this?" Andrea asked him, she could tell he wanted her, hell, she could feel him pulsing against her. There was something incredibly heady about knowing she could turn Tex on with just a kiss._

_"I just don't want you to regret this." He told her earnestly. She felt so touched by his concern._

_"I won't. I want you and I'm not going to beg." She told him firmly with a sly smile making sure he understood her clearly. He tightened his hold on her, sending small waves of pleasure through her as she loved the strength and tenderness in him. His eyes lit up at her words as he obviously saw it as a delicious challenge._

_"We'll see about that." he said with a smug grin. She couldn't help but laugh at how cocky he was. But her laugh was quickly smothered by his lips as he pulled her into another kiss._


	6. Chapter 6

"You didn't need to walk me home." Andrea told Tom as they got back to her house. Tom helped her pick the stroller up with Jack inside up the stairs to the front door.

"I'm still a gentleman. Not a bad place." He said as he looked at Andrea's home. It was a generic two story home with a dead garden. She knew she should at least try to do something about it but she couldn't be bothered. It was home.

"You want to come in?" Andrea asked as she gestured to the door. She already knew the answer before Tom said it but she had to ask.

"No, I have to head off. My kids are probably feral now with the freedom they've had this morning." Tom told her with a smile. She moved around the stroller and they exchanged a quick hug.

"It was good to see you. Don't let a year go by before I see you next ok?" she told him with a smile. She had really enjoyed their time together and didn't want to lose him again.

"I won't," he promised, "You take care of yourself and Jack here." He said he leaned over to Jack and picked up the boy's hand. "Bye Jack." He said. Jack response was instead of being cute and loveable grouched at Tom and pushed his hand away. Tom and Andrea laughed as it was still cute.

"Yeah, he's got stroller fever bad." Andrea said with a laugh as Jack grouched at them again in a way that could only be interpreted as 'Mom, it's time for crawling not strolling'.

"He's a character." Tom told her, not insulted at all by Jack's foul mood. "You have my number, if you ever need to contact me." he told her.

"I do, I might even call you from time to time to make sure you're still alive." She said.

"I'd like that." Tom told her, he gave a wave and walked away.

"Bye." Andrea said, she watched Tom walk away wishing he was staying in San Diego for good as she'd have liked to have him close by. But he had his own path. Jack squawked at her, bringing her back to the present. She opened the front door and pulled Jack out of the stroller. She placed him on the floor just inside the door. "Off you go." she told her son.

Jack sat on his bottom and smiled up at her. "Yes, you're free buddy. Go on." She shooed him, he poked out his tongue and turned around crawling a few paces away. She chuckled as he stopped and looked back at her waiting before he crawled further into the house. She disassembled the stroller and brought it into the house and closed the door.

* * *

_Andrea stared at the horizon; the funeral was over an hour ago. She should have gone back to her quarters and changed out of her dress whites. She just couldn't bring herself to. She should be used to this; they'd had so many sea burials in the past year that it should be old hat. But it wasn't, every person they gave to sea was felt deeply. She wondered how many more they'd have to give to sea before they finally won. If they won._

_She had lost Chung and Lynn, their loss cut deep as she had served with Lynn for a long time as had Mike and Tom. They all were old friends. Andy Chung was just a kid. He had been such an asset; she had been grooming him to eventually run the engineering department. She spent many hours with them, she wasn't sure how she was going run the engineering department now she had lost them._

_She wondered what was the point in going any further. She had nothing to go home to, she'd lost so much and for what? They were no closer to distributing the cure. Their country, the people she had sworn to protect had turned against them. They had killed her friends. The country she loved was gone, all of the people she loved were gone. She felt alone, hollowed out and exhausted. She couldn't help but idly wonder for a moment why she didn't climb over the railing and take a dive._

_"It'd be a mighty cold swim." Tex remarked, Andrea turned to see him standing beside her. She wondered if she had said her thoughts out loud. He looked to her with sardonic smile. "I know that look well." He told her._

_"I wasn't-" Andrea started but he cut her off._

_"It's ok, we all have those moments. The thing is, you just gotta hang in there." He said, he placed his hand on top of hers and gently squeezed her hand, silently letting her know he was here. That he saw her, which upset her and made her feel relieved all at once._

_"And hope it gets better?" she asked him, she swallowed the lump in throat and blinked back her tears as she didn't want anyone to see her cry._

_"It's all checks and balances." He told her pragmatically._

_"I don't know." Andrea said not really believing him but also knowing she wasn't going to climb over the railing and take a plunge. "Though you don't have to worry about me doing a Rose De Witt Bukater." She assured him,_

_"Here I thought I was your Jack Dawson." He told her with a grin. She raised her eyebrows in surprise as he got the reference. "The longest and worst movie date of my life." He informed her, she smiled as she could only imagine. "I'm also wondering how long you'll let me get away with holding your hand." he added._

_"Not long." She said in a daring tone._

_"You wouldn't break it, would you? I've already been shot in the ass. Isn't that enough?" he asked her, she looked at his hand on top of hers and pretended to think on it. She had no intention moving her hand from his. She should, given it would be seen as inappropriate but at this point she just needed to feel connected to someone. Tex was here, he was always present just when she needed him._

_"Maybe, I'll let you off this one time." she told him, he smiled at her and for some reason she felt she saw the light at the end of the tunnel that was the hell they were going through. "You know that if you jumped off the back of the ship you'd be pulled into the rudders and eviscerated before you could feel the cold." She told him._

_"Damn woman, that's bleak." Tex told her with a chuckle._

_"It's a terrible way to go." She added._

_"I feel I should hold you around the waist just in case." he said as he sidled in closer but kept his hands where they were. She couldn't help but smile even through her grief._

_"Only you could make me smile at my lowest point." She told him, he smiled softly at her which warmed her chilled insides. "But if you wrap your arms around me, I'll throw you overboard." She warned him mockingly as she preferred to smile than sink into her never-ending grief._

_"I'll keep my arms where they are." He said with a grin. "Though maybe later you'll indulge me." he added in a low voice, his eyes danced with warmth and amusement. She knew him well enough to know that it wasn't about sex but just about not being alone and comforting one another._

_"I thought you were shot in the ass." she said._

_"I was, I just don't want to be alone and you're better at spooning than Green." Tex told her, something told her he was fine on his own but she would take him up his offer because she didn't want to be alone. With him, she could keep the pain at bay and soak up his strength and warmth._


	7. Chapter 7

A month later, Andrea sat in front of her laptop with Jack in her lap on the lounge. The laptop was positioned perfectly on the table under a couple of dictionaries left by the previous owners.

"Only a few more minutes and your sister will be online." She told Jack, she kissed the top of his head and looked to the laptop screen. The skype program was open and ready. The internet was connect, Andrea had a cup of tea on the side cooling down. She had snacks and toys for Jack for when he got restless.

He gave a cute giggle and smiled at her, before wrapping his arms around her neck for a hug. She smiled as her baby boy was growing quickly, too quickly for her sometimes. But she didn't have time to dwell on that as the Skype program rang at her. She smiled and hit the answer button.

"Hey!" Andrea shouted at the screen as an image of Kat popped up. Kat's video wasn't exactly crystal clear but it was good enough for a conversation and for Andrea to see she was looking well.

"Hey! can you see me?" Kat asked from her end.

"It's a little garbled but otherwise good." Andrea told her as Kat's image froze and pixelated momentarily before clearing up.

"Oh, I can see you!" Kat shouted through the speakers, she immediately covered her mouth and looked embarrassed. She gave a cheeky grin as she mouthed 'sorry' to someone off screen.

"Where are you?" Andrea asked her as she couldn't make out any of the background.

"Internet café in Athens." Kat told her.

"You're not alone right?" Andrea asked, Kat gave her the droll teenage look of 'do I look stupid'.

"No, Miller and Diaz are here. Diaz is chatting up some random chick. Miller's talking to his Mom." Kat informed her, Andrea was relieved to know Kat wasn't alone as it was still a new world. Frankly, Andrea worried about Kat. They were family, so she'd always worry about Kat's well being as much as she would Jack's.

"How are you?" Andrea asked moving the conversation along as she didn't want to hog all of Kat's time in Athens.

"Good, it's been a real trip so far." Kat told her with a grin. She waved at them through the screen to which Jack waved back. He was a little perplexed by the laptop and Kat being shown on the screen.

"Did you get seasick?" Andrea asked her.

"No." Kat said looking victorious as she'd been afraid of getting seasick and being mocked for it.

"Ah, I knew you'd be fine. Tell me everything you can." Andrea said with a smile. Kat told her in brief details what it was like to be on the ship and part of the crew. She told Andrea about the boys antics and making friends. She had to admit she wanted Kat to be just a little homesick for her sake but was glad Kat was happy. The girl was glowing with happiness on her end.

"How are you and Jack?" Kat asked her.

"He's standing up." Andrea told her, Kat's eyes grew wide in happy surprise.

"Oh no, make sure to trip him up if he tries to walk. I don't want to miss it." Kat told her, Andrea laughed as she looked to Jack in her lap.

"You hear that, you can't walk for another four months my little man." Andrea told him. Jack cooed as he tried to touch the screen but Andrea held him back in fear of him disconnecting the call. Kat laughed on the other end and waved at Jack who waved back mimicking the motions.

"It's so good to see you. How are you handling things without me?" Kat asked her.

"Terribly, the house is a wreck. We miss you." Andrea said with a smile as she knew one thing about being deployment was that people liked to know they were missed.

"I miss you too." Kat said with a soft and wistful smile. Andrea didn't let them dwell in the moment too long before she launched into telling Kat everything that had been going in the past few weeks of her absence. She told Kat of how Tom had visited knowing Kat would want to know. The two had never had a chance to talk about what happened after Tex died. It had hurt Kat deeply. She told her of how Tom was still torn up about the loss of Tex as they were but was doing better. Andrea knew Kat would be glad to know. She was right as Kat smiled and nodded.

The two had spent many months working through their own grief and pain together. They had learned to move forward, but it hadn't been easy not by a long shot. For Andrea, having Kat and Jack was the wake up call. She had to pull herself together for them, they needed her to be strong jut as much as needed to felt wanted by them.

"I'm glad he's doing better." Kat told her earnestly. At first Kat had despised Tom, hated him for what happened but once she got past the anger and grief she with Andrea's help realised that it wasn't healthy. It didn't help Kat as she needed move forward and live her life as Tex wanted her to.

"He wanted to see you, but bad timing." Andrea told her.

"Isn't always?" Kat asked with sigh.

"I know, so when will you check in again?" Andrea asked.

"I don't know, I'll send an email when I know."

"Sounds good, now I know you want to talk forever but I want you to explore and enjoy your time away." Andrea told her.

"Ok, I love you and Jack, take care." Kat told them with a sad smile as she obviously didn't want to go. But Andrea felt that Kat should enjoy her surroundings while she could.

"We love you too, take care. If you want to talk just use the phone card ok?" Andrea told her. Kat nodded.

"Ok, bye!" Kat said she waved at the screen. Andrea and Jack waved back at the screen at her.

"Bye." Andrea said, then Kat was gone from the screen. She closed skype down and looked to her son. "She'll be home in no time at all." She told him, glad that she had him in her life.

* * *

_"I gotta go." Tex said to Andrea as he pulled on his boots._

_"I know, I have to admit that I wasn't expecting this." Andrea said as she was laying in bed naked looking up at him._

_"Me leaving?" he asked with a sly grin. She shook her head._

_"No, I knew you'd always leave. You have to find Kathleen. I'd never stop you from doing so. Never. I just-" She stopped as she was too afraid to say what she was feeling; to say she hadn't expected to care as deeply as she did. But Tex saved her from finding the words._

_"Yeah me too, Red." He said, surprising her in a pleasing way. She had wondered if it was one sided but it was clear in the way he looked at her that it wasn't. She smiled. He leaned down and they shared a brief but passionate kiss. "I'm thinking maybe I could meet up with you in St Louis." He added._

_"I'd really liked that." She told him, she bit her lip and drank in the sight of him. She should really get up and changed but right now she just wanted to remember the here and now. She wanted to remember the man before her in case he didn't make it to St Louis. She wanted to remember the man who saved her from herself in her darkest hours and kept her going. The man who made her smile when she didn't think she ever could do so again._

_"I want you meet my daughter. If I find her." Tex said looking worried, Andrea pulled the sheet with her and sat up in the bunk and wrapped her arms around him._

_"You will, and no matter what happens; I'll be there waiting for you in St Louis." she told him, he grasped her hands and kissed them before he took a deep breath and exhaled. It was as if he were preparing himself for the worst. She didn't blame him given what happened to her in Norfolk. He turned and cupped the side of face with one hand. He drank in her features and kissed her once more._


	8. Chapter 8

"Your son is the only baby I know who is happy to see me when they are nine months old." Dr Schilling told her as he looked over Jack. It was his nine month check up and for some reason Andrea was twisted up in knots wondering if everything was alright. Jack had been pretty mangy in the morning. He had smiles for her but he was pretty grumpy to. She had a feeling a growth spurt was coming.

"He's the best until he's teething or about to grow longer." Andrea joked weakly as Jack grunted at the doctor as he was being weighed.

"Well, he's doing great." Dr Schilling told her. Andrea exhaled a sigh of relief.

"That's great, I was worried as I started putting him into Daycare to go to work and to get him socialising with other kids. But they are germ factories." Andrea said conversationally, she had tried mothers' group but found the women too wary and judgemental for her liking. She didn't blame them for being scared given the pandemic but felt un-welcomed for being an 'older' mother. Day care was a hardship for Andrea as she hated leaving Jack for the day with them but at least he had Frankie to play with. Frankly, it was harder on Andrea than it was on Jack.

"Yes, they can be. But he's in great health." He assured her, as he passed Jack back into her arms. Jack smile and latched onto Andrea like a monkey to a tree. "Are there any questions, problems you'd like to address?" he asked.

"No, I think we're all good." Andrea said, she was just happy for Jack to have a clear bill of health. She tried to put Jack into the stroller but he wasn't having a bar of it. so she decided not to fight it.

"Alright, I wish my other patients were as good as you Nolans." He said as he rose from his chair and opened the door for them.

"Thank you again." she told him as she pushed the stroller out of the room and into the reception area.

"Anytime, bye." He said to them, he moved onto his next patient by the time Andrea paid the bill and left with Jack. Once they were outside, Andrea drank in the sunshine and warmth of the weather before deciding their next move.

"What do you think? A visit to the park?" she asked Jack, he grumbled as he snuggled into her, rubbing his face into her shoulder. "Maybe we should just go home and called it a day. Mommy can tell you all about how Daddy surprised her in St Louis over grapes." She suggested as she pushed the stroller to where she had parked the car.

* * *

_Andrea smiled and took a break from hugging, handshaking and talking to people. She like many others was so elated to be in St. Louis, the turnout was phenomenal. People of all ages and backgrounds came out of hiding for the cure, she couldn't help but feel a little teary eyed when she passed the cure onto children and held babies. They were the young lives that would be spare the fate her daughter had suffered. They had a chance, they would survive with their families._

_She just hoped that Tex had found Kathleen. She hadn't heard any news about him but then she'd been too afraid to ask. Too afraid to have hope even after things finally panning out for St Louis and cure. She just didn't think her luck would come good, and hoped her bad luck hadn't tainted Tex._

_"Red! Hey, Red!" Tex's voice boomed over the noise of the crowds. Andrea searched for him as he called her name. "Andrea!" he shouted and then she spotted him. He wore a brilliant smile so infectious that it made her laugh in joy as she came towards her with a young girl. There was no mistaking who she was. It was Kathleen._

_"Tex," Andrea said as they came to a stop before her. She felt incredibly happy to see them that she couldn't stop smiling. "You must be Kathleen." Andrea said to Kat._

_Kat looked a little shyly at her but smiled nonetheless. "That'd be me." she replied._

_"I can't tell you how happy I am to meet you." Andrea told her, she opened her arms and Kathleen came into her arms. Andrea chuckled as she was just so happy the girl was alive. That Tex had found her. She pulled back and smiled at Kathleen._

_"You're so beautiful." Andrea told her._

_"She takes after her mother." Tex said, Andrea and he smiled at one another; sharing a knowing look as they were so relieved and grateful to be here. "You were hard to find." He said._

_"It's quite a crowd." Andrea said in agreement as she let Kat go and stepped back, she didn't want to come off as creepy on top of goofy happy._

_"So what now?" Kat asked them._

_"The President is going to be sworn in and apparently there will be an Inaugural Ball." Andrea said with a shrug, she wasn't sure of what was going on and frankly didn't care. All she cared about was the man before her and his daughter._

_"A party is just what we need." Tex said._

_"Yes it is," Andrea agreed, "So did you two have trouble finding one another?" she asked._

_"A little trouble but we got there, didn't we Kat?" Tex asked his daughter._

_"Yeah, he also wouldn't shut up about you. The whole drive here, 'we gotta find Andrea'-" Kat said in a teasing manner but she couldn't finish what she was saying due to Tex covering her mouth with his hand. Andrea couldn't help but chuckle as it seemed the apple didn't fall far from the tree._

_"No, I just mentioned you in casual passing of the conversation." Tex told Andrea, defending himself as Kat made him sound like a lovesick puppy._

_"Uhuh." Andrea said with a grin as she didn't believe him for one moment but was also glad Kat had basically accepted her in that moment._

* * *

"Thank you for helping me." Andrea said to Debbie as she placed a fresh pitcher of iced tea on the table. Debbie had come over with Frankie and helped Andrea baby proof the last of the house. She and Mike had covered the basics of covering power points and sharp corners but now Frankie was standing up, Andrea was concerned about him getting into cupboards and drawers. She had also gotten a kiddie gate for the stairs which she knew she was going to be tripping over in the near future.

"Please, I'm looking for any excuse to get out of the house these days. People don't socialise like they used to. Hard to meet people at a place where there is alcohol either." Debbie said with a sigh, she didn't look annoyed just tired and resigned.

"How is that going?" Andrea asked referring to Debbie's sobriety. Debbie was looking after Frankie while Kara and Danny were deployed and given she and Andrea were similar in age. They'd struck an easy friendship and set up play dates for the babies.

"It's not easy but every day is another day sober." Debbie said as she looked to Frankie and Jack on the floor. "I just know that I have to do better, I have to be better as Frankie needs me. Kara needs me to be sober. It helps keep me motivated. I actually think I'm a better grandmother than I was a mother." She confessed.

"Not true, Kara turned out beautifully." Andrea told her.

"That was all her. I wasn't a very good mother. Drinking and flitting around, but we have some happy memories." Debbie said with a soft smile, "I can do better this time round and make it up to Kara." She added.

"How are they?" Andrea asked.

"Well, Kara wouldn't go into over Skype but I can tell it's stressful being away and serving on the same ship as Danny. They are married but have to maintain professional distance. It cannot be easy." Debbie said.

"I doubt it would be." Andrea told her.

"She and Danny also miss Frankie. He's started walking the other day." Debbie told her in a low voice as if afraid someone would overhear them in the empty house. It wasn't like the babies could talk yet.

"Oh, that's great! Did you capture it on camera?" Andrea asked, Debbie nodded but looked incredibly guilty about it.

"Yes, but I'm afraid of telling them. In case, it upset them to know they weren't here for Frankie's first steps." Debbie said, Andrea knew how Debbie felt. She'd missed a few of Lily's first and while it was heart breaking not to be present there was still joy in knowing it happened.

"I think they'd want to know. Kat told me that I have to trip up Jack if he tries to walk without her here." Andrea said, Debbie laughed.

"That's terrible." Debbie said.

"I'm a little tempted, I'm not ready for him to start walking." Andrea said as they both chuckled as they both knew that feeling well of having their children grow too quick for their liking.

"We're lucky to have this." Debbie told her as they watched Jack and Frankie play on the rug before them.

"Yes, we are." Andrea said as she couldn't agree more. Sure she wouldn't mind a few extra things or at least one person back in her life but she couldn't bring back the dead. She could only enjoy being with the ones she still had alive in her life.


	9. Chapter 9

_It was like the weather had known the tragic loss of Dr Rachel Scott as the beautiful weather they had upon arrival in St Louis had disappeared. Gloomy clouds rolled in and rained nonstop for three days. It didn't look like it would let up either._

_The Nathan James crew crowded into a small Irish pub to have a quiet drink, no one was laughing. No one was telling funny stories, there was just nothing but a cloud of exhaustion and grief in the room. They had were out of words, out of energy to peak. No one was ready for pep talks._

_The funeral had been a huge event as people came from far and wide to pay their respects. Andrea couldn't help but feel that the Doctor would've hated it. She hated it, the President and Tom had given eulogies to the large crowd. It was broadcasted on TV and over the radio waves. They spoke of Dr Scott and her work, that they would continue the mission to produce and distribute the cure. To finish Dr Scott's work, they used it to reiterate the importance of the 'Scott Effect'. That her life's work had saved them, Andrea had blocked out the rest as she was tired of listening._

_Tired of funerals, tired of remarking on the dead and thanking them for their service especially given how angry she felt. She was angry at the waste of life, she was angry at how they'd come this far and nothing had changed. The people they were protecting and saving; turned against them. She hated the hypocrisy of how they turned out in droves to pay their respects when mere days ago they railed against the Navy. They refused the cure that Dr Scott diligently made, but the last laugh was with Dr Scott as her cure was as invisible as the virus. Those who'd been against the cure, had no choice as they'd breathe it in at some point._

_Tex placed a pint of Kilkenny in front of her and leaned against the table beside her. Only days ago they had been drinking, laughing and dancing to their success. Now, they'd just buried another of their own._

_"Thank you," Andrea told him._

_"It was a nice ceremony." Tex remarked, the others at the table nodded. They were in the same fugue state as she was in. Dr Scott had been gunned down in the hotel they'd been staying in. She'd bled out 5 storeys above them, alone in the hallway while they'd been partying. Why hadn't they had thought to keep a guard on her? no one had an answer except that they had dropped their guards, they'd assumed it was safe. They were wrong._

_The only reason they caught the asshole who shot her was that he'd bumped into Miller coming out of the elevator. Miller had noticed the gun and taken him to the ground; disarming him without thought. Mostly no thought as the man like majority of the sailors had been drunk. They'd learned the truth hours later, what the man had done._

_"I think she would've preferred it not to be a fanfare." Kara remarked, her eyes were red rimmed from crying but like Andrea; her eyes were dry. They were given special dispensation to drink in uniform but both knew they should keep their emotions in check._

_"President wanted it that way. Spread the word about the cure, put face to it; humanise it or whatever." Burk said._

_"I don't want a big fanfare when I go and if I leave a body behind. I want to be cremated, I want everyone to party in a good bar and then dibbied up my ashes to spread them all over place. That way I'm everywhere and with everyone." Tex said with a smile._

_"Gee, you don't ask a lot." Wolf joked, the others smiled._

_"So you sticking around?" Burk asked Tex, it was a question Andrea knew the answer to._

_"Yeah, I got a few things to tie up in Jackson with Kat but we'll be coming back here. Though my time on the Nathan James has come to an end, can't go gallivanting around the world when I have a teenager to look after." Tex said, he slid a look her way with a wink, she managed a smile as she couldn't wait to get back to the hotel and be with him._

* * *

Andrea looked out at the class of 20 cadets sitting in the classroom workshop. She wondered why it felt like they looked younger and younger every year. It was also strange to be back at work. Part of her was already counting down the hours until she'd pick Jack up from day care and the other part was thrilled to be here. She was thrilled because she'd get to pass on her knowledge and experience, she'd also be working with her hands again. She'd missed working while on leave, not all the time but there were moments where she missed getting lost in the engine room doing her work. She most definitely missed the people and the Nathan James but she was on a new path now, one she was enjoying.

"Welcome, I hope you all are aware of why you're here. What you are going to learn?" she asked them, she saw some nods and continued on speaking. She had to admit she was not much into public speaking but she kind of liked the power she felt right now. "Excellent, I'm not surrounded by morons definitely a good sign to the semester. You'll see the large folders on your desks. It's your new bible; it's the codes and regulations that you and the ship in your care has to live by. It tells you exactly what you have to do to fix every problem that you could possibly encounter out at sea and in port." She told them.

"I expect you to read it, I expect you by the end of the semester to remember it verbatim. Yes, there will be a test and the curve is high. It is high because we only take in the best, so we expect the best. Am I understood?" she asked them.

"Yes, Ma'am." They replied dutifully.

"Good, I also should state now that I won't go easy on any of you. I don't care what sob story you have, I only care that you do the work which means at some point you're all going to hate me but when you're on your first deployment after graduation you'll remember me fondly. I ask that during our time together that you remember to keep your names for me to yourself as I am not above making your life harder than it should be." She told them, she smiled a little evilly as some of the students paled at her words. She moved around to the front of her desk and sat on the edge.

"So, before we jump into the coursework. I will answer a few of the questions that you're dying to ask." Andrea said, she didn't even let them raise their hands as she already knew what they'd be. The school had advertised her as a former Nathan James Crew member. "Yes, I served on the Nathan James under the command of Captain Tom Chandler and Captain Mike Slattery. Yes, I was XO before giving up my command. No, it's none of your business why I choose to be transferred off the Nathan James. Yes, I was one of the infamous Six. Yes, I have many stories I could share but it's not story hour. So please, turn to Chapter One." She ordered them.

* * *

_"Do you think it's too quick?" Andrea asked Tex as she followed him into the three bedroom bungalow house. It was already furnished, it looked like a holiday rental given it was impersonal and minimalist in design and furnishings._

_"We all need a place to stay. It's close to the shipyard and Kat's school. Kat likes you." Tex said, Andrea couldn't help but blush given that Kat had given Tex permission to stay in Andrea's hotel room. It seemed Kat was fine with Andrea and Tex, Andrea couldn't figure it out. Maybe it was that she and Tex weren't a showy couple. They didn't hold hands or kiss in public but behind closed doors it was a different story._

_"I don't know why." Andrea said, she'd half expected Kat to hate her for stealing Tex's time from her. But the girl didn't, it probably helped that the Nathan James crew had helped settle a group of kids around her age including a boy named Ray Diaz whom Kat seemed a little sweet on._

_"Her mother and I split up when she was young. She understands that Claire and I were never going to get together again. Well, Claire is gone." Tex said as he wrapped his arms around Andrea's waist and pulled her against him._

_"I wish things were different but I'm also happy that we're here. It's just confusing." Andrea said, as she draped her arms around his neck. She wished that Bill and Lily were alive but if they were, she wouldn't have been here with Tex. But she was happy here with Tex, she didn't think she would be happy with another man. She had banked on being a widow for the rest of her days but Tex had crept under her skin and into her heart. She loved him even if she couldn't bring herself to say it to him._

_"I get it. So move in with me and my ratbag of a teenage daughter?" he asked her with a grin._

_"There's an offer." Andrea remarked drily, she knew they were moving way too fast but she didn't care._

_"Answer the question, Red." He said as he bent his head to nuzzle the sensitive spot just below the edge of her jaw. She shivered as a tidal wave of heat roared through her._

_"Yes," she answered, decided to be impulsive for once in her life._

_"Good, cause I signed the lease yesterday." He told her, he pulled back and smiled brightly as her eyes went wide in surprise at him. "I don't have to pick up Kat for another hour. Wanna christen master bedroom?" he asked her, his gaze turning heated which only turned her on more than his offer. The only problem was that the bedroom was too far away for her._

_"Later," she managed, before she grabbed him by the shoulders and kissed the hell out of him._


	10. Chapter 10

"Oh yeah, if you like having a few hundred volts coursing through you then yeah, you go right ahead and hold in a faulty fuse to a circuit board." Andrea told the class. They had been playing hypothetical situations given there wasn't enough time to get into the next chapter of their work.

"Captain Chandler did it." Cadet Jones said, the young man idolised Tom and Mike. To him, they were gods who could do no wrong.

"It was an emergency and he still got electrocuted and burnt his hand. The engine room smelt like 5 day old KFC for a week after that." Andrea said, the cadets chuckled and she smiled. "It was a desperate move, one only the brave would do. Most brave people are morons." She added.

"But what would you have done?" Cadet Walsh asked, she was one of Andrea's brightest students. Andrea could see the girl scoring an apprenticeship on the Nathan James or one of the aircraft carriers with ease.

"The same, nuclear radiation is no joke. If your ship is busted and you have to do something stupid to get it moving then you do it or you make the most annoying person in the room do it. So if they die then they are out of your hair for good. If they survive then they are still out of your hair for at least a week." She joked, the class laughed and some actually took notes on it. She smiled as she had to admit she liked teaching. Sure she'd had her hiccups and one cadet put into hospital but she'd been cleared of any responsibilities to that event.

"So, you're saying Captain Chandler was the most annoying person on the ship?" Cadet Jones asked,

"When you're on a ship with 200 other sailors, everyone will take turns at being annoying even the Captain. But we have to respect the chain of command and not show our annoyance to our superiors." Andrea told them, she glanced over at the clock noting the time. "And that's time, I'll see you all tomorrow bright and early." She told them.

* * *

_The waiter placed their drinks order on the table and left them, Andrea looked around the restaurant; it was nice place. Casual but romantic, she smiled at Tex who sat across her. He was dressed in the one and only suit owned. His hair groomed back, he'd even brushed his beard._

_"We've been together for months and we've only gotten out of the house now for a date." Andrea said with a grin, she had to admit it was amusing how mixed bagged their relationship was. They'd skipped the whole dating straight into a serious relationship only to start the first date right here and now. There was something rather adorable about it all and yet sad given she was leaving the day after tomorrow for a six month deployment to East Asia._

_"It's easier to for Kat to go out, I like being at home with you. But we gotta celebrate, you're the XO and much better looking than Mike." Tex said as he raised his beer glass up, she did the same with hers and clinked glasses with him. She felt really good about the promotion even if it meant leaving Tex and Kat._

_"She doesn't like me." Andrea pointed out, but then Kat had gotten used to her around and vice versa. It was hard to leave after such a long time at home. Kat had started acting out, distancing herself from Andrea. Andrea knew and understood why; so she did her best not to take it personally._

_Their little rental bungalow was home to her, she hated the small niggle in her brain that reminded her that over a year and half ago he'd left Bill and Lily. Unspoken fears unfurled inside her of being afraid of coming home to Tex and Kat dead and gone but she pushed the fears into a box and stowed it away. She wasn't going to let it ruin her second last dinner. Tomorrow, they would have a family dinner with Kat._

_"She doesn't like me either. It's a teenager thing. At least I'm assuming as much. So I figure we have dinner, and dessert would be room service at the Rydges. Kat is sleeping over at a friend's, so we're good until tomorrow." Tex said with smile that promised a whole of fun and pleasure. She had to admit when she'd seen him dressed in his suit that she'd been half tempted to keep him home. But he'd been adamant about keeping his pants on until 8pm, now she knew why._

_"You really planned this out." Andrea said smiling as she felt pretty happy to skip dinner and head straight to dessert._

_"Gotta make the most of our time." Tex told her._

* * *

"I think you were made on that night, but who knows. Your father and I weren't really keeping track of things. But let me tell you, it was one of the most special nights of my life." Andrea told Jack as she held him in her arms as he drank his bottle. He didn't need her to hold it for him anymore but he still liked to be held while drinking his formula before bed.

She gazed down at Jack, holding eye contact with him; she loved the connection she felt with him in these moments. It reminded her of when she held Lily as a baby and of better days as well as building new memories.

"I really miss your father," She confessed, her eyes grew misty with tears as she let her feel that loss for a second before taking a breath in. When she exhaled she felt a knot of grief unfurl and the pain pass. "But lucky me, I have you and Kat who remind me of him all the time. I hope you grow up to look just like him. Then you can woo some lucky person and be as happy as we were. But you'll have to wait until you're in your late 30s." She teased him.

Jack pulled the bottle from his mouth and smiled up at her. She smiled back as he gurgled a giggle, he took a few breaths and stuck the bottle back in his mouth.

"So, your father wined and dined me, then I set off on a grand adventure on the Nathan James. I didn't know you were in my belly until after a lot of things happened. But you were a very good surprise." Andrea told Jack.

* * *

_Andrea sat on the bed in the med bay, she felt so washed out and light headed. It had been over ten days since they returned to the ship after being rescued from Takehaya's camp. She'd been eating the same as everyone else, making sure to stay hydrated but unlike the others; she was not bouncing back. She was just dragging her feet and last couple hours on shift had been hard. She had pretending she was fine like the men but she wasn't. She was reaching a point where she couldn't keep up the façade like Mike. Something was very wrong, and she just hoped Rios had an answer for her._

_"Ok," Rios said as he came to her bedside with her medical file. She had let him draw blood for tests an hour ago, so she just hoped the results meant she was iron deficient. She like the others had been drained of copious amounts of blood at Takehaya's camp. It was the only thing she could think of._

_"Just give it to me straight." Andrea told him as she could see he was nervous. She didn't want him to waffle on the subject._

_"Everything looks ok, you are anaemic but that's to be expected given what happened to us all." He said._

_"But?" Andrea prompted as she like he didn't need to rehash history. They'd both been there and wanted to put it behind them._

_"No buts, just congratulations? You're pregnant." Rios told her, Andrea blinked at him._

_"Pregnant." Andrea repeated in disbelief, she couldn't believe it as she'd been purposefully skipping her periods with birth control pills. "Are you sure?" she asked him, as he couldn't be right._

_"Yes, about 5 months or more according the levels of hCG in your blood. I only ran the test because it's mandatory for all female personnel to be screened for pregnancy when they display your symptoms like yours." He told her, he said it almost apologetically but Andrea didn't care as she was doing the math in her head. She had been lucky in Takehaya's camp. They only wanted her blood, and then it hit her._

_"Is the baby ok? We were drained for a lot of blood." Andrea said to him, she felt herself start to panic as she had a lot questions not just for Rios but herself. Like how she'd missed the fact she was pregnant? She knew right away with Lily but this one had passed her by? Why wasn't she showing? What was Tex going to say? Was he going to be happy? Was she happy?_

_"We can do an ultrasound." Rios assured her._

_"Ok." Andrea said as she was glad to be sitting down given the room was spinning slightly from the revelation that she was pregnant._

_"Normally, I have to tell the Captain and XO immediately given you should be transferred off the ship as you've passed the 20 week mark-" Rios started but she cut him off._

_"No, I understand. I have nowhere to go." Andrea said as they had all seen the news. America had dissolved into sovereign territories with their own government bodies controlled by the regional leaders. All military personnel had been order to report to their nearest stations for reassignment. Anyone who didn't comply would be considered AWOL and enemies of the Regional leaders. Tom had been named an enemy of American people and the Nathan James painted with the same brush. There was no safe harbour. She looked to Rios. "Can we keep this between us, there's a lot going on that I can't be sidelined for." She told him._

_"Sure, though you do need to rest and I advise you increase your salt intake. It'll help your low blood pressure, but I do urge you inform the CNO and Captain." He told her, he knew he could go above her head and inform Tom and Mike. To not do so, was against protocol but there was too much on the line and everyone was needed. "As for the ultrasound, I can do that for you today. I'll get you water to drink." He said._

_"Ok." She said as she rubbed a hand down her face._


	11. Chapter 11

"Ok, are we ready?" Andrea asked as she looked around the kitchen and dining table where Frankie and Jack sat in their high chairs. Dinner had been dispensed with and now they were onto the dessert. She straightened the candle that was shaped in the number '1' on the cake. Debbie was fussing around as well making sure everything was set up with her.

"I believe so." Debbie said as she positioned the laptop the table just so. They were seconds away from having Kat and Kara calling for a skype chat.

"Ok," Andrea said with a sigh as she tried relax. It was Jack's first birthday, it was a milestone she couldn't have celebrated alone and so she was grateful for Debbie's presence. It had come around quick but it also meant in two months Kat would home.

"Do dah bah." Jack said from his chair. She'd tried to put a birthday hat on him but he refused to wear it. At least his onesie was still clean, for now. The familiar tones of a skype call played from the computer. Andrea moved the cake to the table as Debbie hit the answer button.

"Hello?" Debbie called.

"Hey!- wow. Hello everyone!" Andrea said, her smile broadened as the screen was filled with many familiar faces. All smiling and waving at them through the computer. Jack squealed in delight and smacked his hands on the table at all the attention, as Frankie giggled and shyly hid his face behind his hands.

"Hey! everyone heard it was Jack's birthday and wanted to wish him a happy birthday." Kat said with a roll of her eyes.

"Move out of the way, I can't see." Burk complained from back, there was some shuffling and the screen froze before everyone on the Nathan James settled in, all their faces crowding the screen. Andrea didn't miss Mike and Jeter lurking in the background and couldn't help but feel it was so right to have them all there even if it was via Skype.

"You know it's a party when Burk is complaining." Kara said as people chuckled and talked behind her.

"We don't have long." Kat said looking sad as they already knew it wouldn't be a long call.

"Right, here we go." Andrea said, she lit the candle and pulled the cake in front of Jack. Close enough for him to see and want the cake but far enough away that he couldn't destroy it or burn himself on the candle. She leaned in behind his chair and kissed his cheek and caught his hands with hers before she looked to the screen.

"Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday, Dear Jack. Happy birthday to you! Hip Hip Hooray! Hip Hip Hooray!" Andrea and Debbie sang with the others. She only chuckled as the time lag played through as it sounded like the Nathan James crew were echoing them.

"Blow out the candles!" Kat said with a watery grin on the screen. She wasn't the only one who was near tears, but these were happy tears. Andrea pulled the cake closer and lifted Jack up.

"1, 2, 3!" Andrea said to Jack before she blew out the candle for him. The Nathan James crew, Frankie and Debbie cheered and clap. Andrea kissed Jack's cheek and settled him back down.

"Thank you all." She told them, sincerely glad to have their presence and to call them all friends and family.

"Look out, kid's got cake!" Miller announced. Andrea looked to see Jack had stuck his hands in the cake.

"Jack, that's for sharing. You cheeky little monster." Andrea told her son who stuffed his face with cake and then pulled an innocent face. Everyone laughed as Andrea decided to let it go. It was Jack's first birthday, he might as well enjoy his cake.

"We gotta go." Mike told them from the back of the room. The others on Nathan James' end all said their goodbyes until it was just Kara and Kat.

"We'll call in a few days." Kara told them with a soft smile as it was clear she like many others wanted to stay and chat for longer.

"Thank you." Andrea told her and Kat, she loved the surprise of seeing everybody's faces.

"No, thank you. It's good to see Jack and my Frankie. I can't wait for us all meet up when we're back." Kara said, she said her own quick goodbyes to Debbie and Frankie before leaving the crew lounge. Andrea had taken that time to cut out the part of the cake Jack had smashed, and cut out slices for herself, Debbie and Frankie.

"He's grown so much." Kat said watching them through the computer.

"He's not walking yet. But he's a speedy crawler." Andrea informed her, she had to chuckle at the relief Kat showed at knowing that.

"Good. I don't want to miss his first steps." Kat told her.

"Only two more months and you'll be home." Andrea reminded her.

"I can't wait, I love you both." Kat told her.

"We love you too." Andrea told her, she liked the way Kat's face lit up at hearing such a declaration when months ago it would have set her off.

"I have to go." Kat told her.

"I know, take care." Andrea said, Kat gave a nod and waved before she signed off. The program closed and Andrea closed the laptop, she turned to Debbie who looked as emotionally exhausted as she was. It wasn't easy being separated from loved ones. But it wouldn't be long until they were reunited.

* * *

_Andrea drank in every feature of Tex's face. Here he was in her quarters, a room filled with so many memories she never thought they'd hold. Yet here they were, Kat had long since been given a berth down with the enlisted women. So left Tex, who should've been in his designated berth getting sleep given they were all going to be wheels up in a few hours._

_"You should be getting some sleep." Andrea told him, he smiled at her which made her heart skipped a beat while her body heated up, the man could turn her on fast. Then over 5 months of celibacy was not helping either. He closed the gap between them and caught her chin, he kissed her hard._

_She knew they should talk first, she should tell him she was pregnant but desire spiralled through her, drugging and confusing her, till she was clutching him._

_"Andrea," Tex rasped, against her lips. "I have something to tell you."_

_"What?" she asked, for better or for worse, this man owned her heart. There was something incredibly beautiful and content in knowing she belonged with him. To know she was loved and that she loved him. That nothing had changed in the months since their separation._

_"I love you," he declared, startling her as they had never actually said those three powerful words to one another. "I don't mind if it takes you a while to say it. I just needed to say it out loud, I needed you to hear before I take you to that small bunk and make love to you. I don't need sleep, I need you naked and all mine." he added, with lascivious grin that short circuited Andrea's brain as it was possibly the hottest and sweetest thing he could've said to her._

_"I'm pregnant." She blurted, dropping her news like a bomb. "Over five months." She added quickly as she didn't want him to think it wasn't his. He looked a little stunned but then grinned._

_"A baby" he said surprised, Andrea nodded. "Looks like we weren't out of the baby making racket as far as we thought." he said practically preening at what was not a planned pregnancy; Andrea chuckled and gave a nod. She was so relieved that he didn't ask questions or throw accusations. He just accepted their baby; her pregnancy with joy. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tight against him._

_"Hey, Red." He said huskily to her, she snaked her arms around his neck and melted against his frame. His body was so warm and solid, she felt so good like she had come home._

_"Yeah?" she whispered back, she bit her bottom lip as she was savouring the feel of him and the anticipation._

_"We're going to need to get a bigger house." He informed her._

_"I know. We also have to tell Kat." She added._

_"Very soon, but right now. Right now, I want you." Tex told her, his expression stole the air from her lungs. Yearning and hunger, so strong it echoed inside her._

_She couldn't wait another second. She tilted her head, she leaned up a little on her toes to kiss him. Tex groaned and cupped her face. He held her steady around the waist with one arm._

_The kiss soon turned desperate. The glide of his tongue against hers_

_sent shivers racing across her skin. Andrea moved her hands down to his shirt and frantically started undoing the buttons as he toed off his boots._

* * *

"How was the party?" Tom asked over the phone.

"It was good, everyone sang 'Happy Birthday' to Jack via Skype. It was special. It's a shame you couldn't have made it." he said, but she continued speaking so Tom didn't need to give excuse as she felt none were necessary. "So the Nathan James is running to schedule. They will be back in San Diego in three weeks time. I think you should come back for a visit." Andrea said as she kicked her feet up on the coffee table. Jack was fast asleep and the house quiet. She was kind of surprised when Tom called out the blue but happy to hear his voice.

"Actually, I am coming back with the kids for an extended visit." Tom told her.

"Yeah?" Andrea asked surprised but also pleased to hear him say she knew he wouldn't go back against his word. The one thing she could bank on was Tom keeping his word.

"It's time and I promised Sasha I'd be there." He told her in a casual manner, Andrea's jaw dropped as that was quite a bombshell. They'd been speaking for over half an hour about their lives and not once did he mention Sasha. She heard about Ashley projectile vomiting in a Walgreens from a bad can of beans but somehow he'd saved this tidbit for now.

"So you did talk to her." Andrea said with a smile; glad to see that Tom had made the first move and reconnected with her. Andrea had known the two had history. She didn't know the details but it didn't take a genius to know the two had once been lovers and there was still a spark there.

"She wrote me first and I replied. We've been emailing." Tom told her.

"About what?" Andrea asked him.

"None of your business." Tom told her, Andrea laughed as Tom certainly changed but not too much from the man she knew. "Anyway, I'll be in town for at least a couple of weeks. I'd like to see Kat if she's amenable." He added.

"I think she'd like that." Andrea told him, she knew Kat had been waiting a long time for Tom to talk to her. She had wanted to know Tex's final moments, something only Tom had been witness to and hadn't ever shared with anyone. "I'm also looking forward to seeing you. I think we should have a BBQ." She told him.

"As long as Jeter's on the grill, I'll be there with steaks." Tom told her, she could hear the smile in his voice.


	12. Chapter 12

_"Where is your Kevlar?" Andrea asked Tex as she had secreted him into one of the unoccupied electronics workstations in the P-way. She had learned about it from Kara when the two had been talking over coffee month ago about how She and Danny had found a place to sneak a kiss._

_Andrea knew it was a little cheesy to use it but it was close to the Helo bay and she didn't want the crew to see them. She didn't need the high school antics of 'Andrea's got a boyfriend' plus she knew they'd be surprising the hell out of everyone when she resigned her commission from the Nathan James and had a baby shower._

_"It was chaffing me and I like being able to feel your hands on me." Tex told her with a chuckle as she gave him a droll look._

_"Wear it." She ordered as she pulled him close, just one more mission and then it was them with Kat setting out to make their own way. Part of her couldn't wait to relinquish the stress of their current lives for something simpler._

_"Yes, Ma'am." He said with a mock salute before he grasped the side of her face with one hand. "Now kiss me quick as I gotta go." he told her, she obliged him but when he tried to deepen it she teasingly pulled back._

_"Don't be a hero." She told him._

_"Me? Never. I'm a coward to the core." He told her with a grin. "The minute I'm back, we'll tell Kat about the baby. Then we'll look into a proper celebration. Ship wide announcement." He added._

_"We'll see about that." Andrea told him as she wasn't sure if she liked the sound of a ship wide announcement._

_"I love you, Red." He told her sincerely._

_"I love you too." She told him, he kissed her hard and deep, she gave full heartedly into the kiss, letting all of her senses be taken over as she didn't want it to end. But it did, she looked to him and gave a shaky breath as her emotions were getting the better of her._

_"I'll be back." he assured as he could sense her fears._

_"I know, no go and put on your Kevlar!" She told him as she gently pushed him away from her. He smiled and laughed as he gave a mock salute while walking backward. She couldn't help but laugh as he tripped over the knee knocker but he managed to stay upright._

* * *

"Ok, you ready?" Andrea asked Jack rhetorically, she adjusted his Tex replica cap as it was a sunny day at the port. The Nathan James was docked and she knew in a few minutes Kat and the crew would be disembarking.

She stood with many other family members waiting for their loved ones. She adjusted his outfit as he squirmed in her arms. He'd taken his first steps a couple days ago and now was not content to be held. He wanted to run like the wind but Andrea was just as stubborn as him.

"You can squirm all you like but you're not getting on the ground yet." She told Jack who frowned at her.

"He still doesn't have a beard." Tom said appearing at her side in the crowd.

"I'd be worried if he did." Andrea said with a chuckle. They exchanged a quick hug and then turned their attention back to the ship. "Do you miss it?" she asked him.

"Some days I do, others I don't." He said, Andrea had to admit she was the same in that regard. She missed the life she had and the people she had shared it with. Many of whom that were gone but not forgotten.

"Where are the kids?" She asked him.

"Over there with the sign." Tom said pointing in their direction. They stood a few feet away talking to one another.

There was a bouquet of flowers and a sign on the ground with 'Sasha' painted in big letters with anchors and what looked like a Pikachu. "Sammy said it'd be easier for her to find a Pokémon." He said noting her frown. They both shrugged not entirely understanding it but not worried about not knowing either.

"I guess you'll see. How do the kids feel about Sasha?" she asked him.

"I've been sharing some of the emails. They are looking forward to meeting her." Tom said with a content smile, it was clear he was keeping his expectations low and taking things slow. "So no sign?" he asked her.

"I got one here." she said adjusting Jack on her hip. He rambled a bunch of do da ba's as his response.

"I hear you buddy." Tom told Jack as he reached out and tickled him under the chin. Jack blew a raspberry at him before giggling which made Tom and Andrea laugh. "He can make anyone smile aye?" he asked Andrea, warmly.

"Just like his Daddy." She said with a soft smile. A whistle sounded signifying the crew were disembarking the ship.

"Well, I gotta go to my entourage. Dinner tomorrow night still on?" he asked.

"Yes, and good luck." She told him.

"Don't need luck." He told her with confident smile. Andrea smiled and turned her face to the ship she watched as the crew slowly came down the plank ways. She took a deep inhale and exhale as anticipation and excitement got the better of her.

It took a while for Kat to come out but Andrea called out her name in the crowd. Soon she was heading her way with the biggest grin on her face. She was just a few feet away when Andrea placed Jack on his feet. She crouched down beside him.

"Look it's Kat, Big Sis. Go on." She told him, Jack stuck his hand in his mouth and looked between her and Kat who stopped in place. She had dropped her bag and crouched down.

"Hey Jack!" Kat called, she held out her hands to Jack and he turned at smile at hearing his name.

"Go on, show her." Andrea prompted him, she gently nudged him and then off he went. He started toddling towards Kat. Kat smiled brilliantly as she watched her brother walked to her, but in his excitement of being cheered for walking; he tripped on his own foot and fell. Andrea and Kat couldn't help but burst out laughing in sympathy as Jack sat up and wailed in pain.

"Oh no, oh little buddy." Kat said in sympathy as she picked Jack off the ground into her arms. "Boy, you got heavy." She observed with her own watery smile. He'd stopped wailing as soon as he was in Kat's arms and just looked at her with tear soaked face. His bottom lip wobbled and snot dribbled down his face.

"You're ok." Andrea said to Jack as pulled out a tissue and wiped away the snot and tears. He didn't look convinced but Andrea and Kat fussed over him making sure. He only had a tiny scrap on one of his knees but it was already forming a scab. "Yes, you are. See?" she asked him, she blew a raspberry into each of his palms and he gave a giggle and smiled.

"We're all good." Kat said in agreement.

* * *

_Andrea sat next to Kat on her bed, the girl had been crying non-stop since the others had returned to the ship with Tex's remains. No one said a word, but they didn't have to as Andrea knew. She had been listening in CIC to the radio chatter._

_She had completely shut down, she'd lost all feeling in her body and part of her was glad she couldn't feel a she knew she'd break down. She didn't want the crew to see her pain. She didn't want them to look at her with empathy as they had when they'd learned about Bill and Lily. She didn't want them to console her, she didn't want anything but to go to Kat and to be with her._

_She still remembered telling Kat, god, it had been hard. Kat hadn't believed her, instead she had waited in the helo bay with tears running down her face. She waited for hours until the teams returned. When the body bag came in, and Tex didn't walk through unharmed was the moment the truth sank in for Kat._

_Andrea had expected Tom to come up to Kat, she waited at the girl's side feeling the pain seep out of her. The men and women looked crestfallen, exhausted and just out of words. When Tom had walked by them without a word or look of acknowledgement, Sasha came to them._

_She had told Kat what had happened, that was when Kat had collapsed but Sasha and Andrea caught her, slowly going to the ground. Andrea couldn't hold back her tears as she could still remember the god awful sound Kat made as she realised her father was dead. Andrea had held her in her arms, letting the girl cry herself hoarse as there were no words, nothing that could be done to ease her pain than to let her ride it._

_They had moved Kat to Andrea's quarters when she was able to get to her feet. Sasha and Andrea had hoped the girl would be able to get some sleep but it never came. She just cried with very little reprieve, Andrea and Sasha just kept giving her tissues and water to keep her hydrated._

_When Kat spoke she went between disbelief that Tex was gone to anger which she directed at all of them. Andrea just took all the anger, letting Kat just lash out her pain as she said vicious things to how unfair it was that even if Tex had worn a vest it wouldn't have saved him from his injuries. She knew the girl was in pain because she was too. She just didn't have to luxury to let it out._

_But it didn't take long for Kat to exhaust herself, right now she sat with her knees to her chest. Her shoulder and arm touching Andrea's as they sat close to one another. Her face wet with tears, she wiped her raw nose with a tissue. "What's going to happen to me?" she whispered, fresh tears rolling down her face._

_"We're going to get off this ship, we'll follow your father's wishes. He wanted a party and to be cremated. To have his ashes spread around, so we'll do that and then we'll-" Andrea choked up and took a shaky breath as this was just too much for her. "We'll go wherever you want to."_

_"You don't have to do that." Kat said in a hushed tone, but Andrea could hear the desperation in her voice at needing to not be alone just as Andrea didn't want to be alone._

_"Kat, I want to. I love-loved your father, I love you. You might not need me or care about me the same way and that's fine. But I'm going to take care of you because I want to. I want a home, I want us together because we're family and in a few months there's going to be three of us. I want him or her to know you." Andrea told her, tears rolled down her face, her throat hurt as she was failing to keep it together._

_"You're pregnant?" Kat asked, her eyes wide in shock._

_"Yeah," Andrea said nodding. "We were going to tell you together. It was going to be so different than this. I'm so sorry it's not." Andrea added, she covered her mouth as she stifled the sob trying to escape her. "I'm sorry." She told her._

_"Me too." Kat said, she held out her hand to Andrea as neither seemed to be able to handle more human contact. Andrea looked at her hand and took it in her own before she looked to Kat. "I want to go back to Jackson. Dad would want a part of him to be with Mom." Kat told her._

_"I think so too." Andrea said in agreement as she was grateful Kat had silently accepted her in her life._

* * *

"Nooo," Andrea told Jack in a light tone as he was trying to open the fly screen door that lead out to the front porch. She knew why he wanted to go out there. It was where Kat his favourite person was at the moment. Tom had come over an hour ago, the two had been sitting on the front porch talking.

"You can play with Kat when she and Uncle Tom are finished talking." she told him, he frowned at her and tried push the door but it didn't open or budge. "You're as nosy as your father, and let me tell you, this is not happening." She promised him.

"Dabadaka" Jack argued with a pout. She just smiled as it was so adorable.

"I don't care, you have to respect their privacy." She told him, which even she was struggling to do as she wanted to make sure Tom and Kat's conversation was going ok. Well, as 'ok' as it could given they were talking about Tex and how Tom had not come to Kat when she had needed him.

"Come on, let's go play in the lounge room. You have many toys you can play with in there." Andrea said, she came over to him and took his hands off the door and lifted him up off his feet and placed him down again but this time away from the door. He looked up at her with a suspicious look but she persisted by gently herding him into the living area.

Luckily, Jack let didn't fight her on it. She like to pretend he was smart enough to know that she was going to win any argument with her until he could form sentences. She watched him move to the play mat on the floor. He started picking up the wooden blocks and playing with them.

She moved to the floor beside him and sat down, just watching him. She couldn't but reflect how much her life had evolved over the years, the people she had lost, the home she had lost, the love she had lost and how she didn't think she'd ever be able to make any good of it. How life surprised her, how settled into her life she felt in that moment as she had a home and family.

It wasn't what she had pictured it, but it was all hers and she was going to make the most of it. The front fly screen door open and Kat stepped in alone.

"He's gone, but he'd said he'll be back later with Sasha and kids." Kat said, Andrea nodded as she noted the tears in Kat's eyes. It was clear whatever she and Tom had shared had been emotional and upsetting but also cathartic as Kat looked more at peace than she did before.

"You ok?" Andrea asked her, Kat gave a nod as she moved to the floor where Andrea and Jack were. She sat down and crossed her legs before picking up a wooden block.

"Thank you " Kat told her.

"For what?" Andrea asked her, unsure of what Kat was thanking her for.

"For Everything." Kat told her earnestly, Andrea smiled as she was overwhelmed with love. She didn't know what to say so she pulled Kat into her arms. They both laughed as Jack got off the floor and insinuated himself into the hug. Andrea and Kat adjusted to accommodate him, and just sat there enjoying the moment.

* * *

**_The End._ **


End file.
